Walking football for the over-50s

Discussion forum for the over-50 walking football team.

Re: Walking football for the over-50s

Postby mark c » Mon Mar 09, 2015 10:06 pm

well seeing as its our tournament we'll be in it , I doubt there'll be any EFC teams involved :D :D :D
There's no such things as Rock stars, there's just people who play music , some of them are just like us and some of them are dicks
mark c
Posts: 2827
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2009 5:27 pm
Location: Hedge End Western Hawk Branch

Re: Walking football for the over-50s

Postby mucky matelot » Wed Mar 11, 2015 8:14 am

Video from Sunday's tournament. Try not to skip through as you may miss some funny bits. Enjoy.
mucky matelot
Posts: 613
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2009 8:12 pm

Re: Walking football for the over-50s

Postby jcwm » Wed Mar 11, 2015 5:16 pm

Embarrassing :oops: but brilliant footage! A really good day out :thumbup: Must do it again soon :clap:
Posts: 78
Joined: Thu Feb 19, 2009 11:16 am
Location: Drayton

Re: Walking football for the over-50s

Postby RKelly » Wed Mar 11, 2015 9:14 pm

Excellent Steve....it also explains why I couldn't find you to make a substitution....you were too busy filming!! Ha!!! Enjoyed the day though.
Posts: 148
Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 2:22 pm

Re: Walking football for the over-50s

Postby Probably Shirts » Fri Mar 13, 2015 6:55 pm

Hants FA Mid-Term Review

There should be something on the OS soon to confirm that we passed yesterday's review without any problems. :thumbup: :thumbup:
Some new training bibs and balls should be with us within the next month. :thumbup: :thumbup:

We need to get a first aid kit to stop Clive dripping all over the place! ;)
Probably Shirts
Posts: 1624
Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2009 10:42 pm
Location: The 'Ville bit of H&W

Re: Walking football for the over-50s

Postby Probably Shirts » Mon Mar 23, 2015 5:59 pm

I thought it was about time this thread went to the top of the boards again. :wave:

News from our underground bunker where we have hidden our secret printing press away is that our new walking football Fanzine is beginning to come together. :shh: If only we knew of a printing company who might sponsor us.... :eh:

We have commissioned a new interview section, to be written by our man Rob the Fit, who tells us his interview style is a cross between Jeremy Kyle and Michael Parkinson. :think:

Today I got some hot copy from Honest Matt, your ever-reliable Agony Aunt :thumbup:
And with an aunt like that, who wouldn't be in agony? :crazy:

If anyone has any problems that they think Honest Matt can help them with, just e-mail them to him at:
It's a real e-mail address, so beware, you might get an answer!

Honest Matt cannot be held responsible for any injury or other damage caused to his readers from laughing too much, or indeed from following any of his advice.

All things being equal, it should be out in time for the last home game of the season, hopefully free at the turnstiles!
Probably Shirts
Posts: 1624
Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2009 10:42 pm
Location: The 'Ville bit of H&W

Re: Walking football for the over-50s

Postby happyinspain » Sat Mar 28, 2015 11:05 am

with a brief respite from the acidic training and match reports, the editorial team from ‘Tenna Towers’ return to bring you all up to date with the over 50’s antics. :thumbup:

As always, a few items of news.
We have appointed our new physio who will attend all matches and tournaments to assist in our wellbeing. It was a very difficult decision in who to choose as we had 2 very strong candidates, firstly we had the very experienced Titsyania Squatpump a 49 year old ex professional wrestler and then we had the ‘new kids on the block’ the sports therapist students from Southdowns College, the HR department met to select the best option for the team, after much deliberation the sub 20 year old predominantly female team from Southdowns were selected based purely on the fact that when they attend our matches this counts as ‘work experience’ as part of their course. :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

As we arrived at our training ground The ‘Special One’ announces our new summer training kit has been ordered comprising football shirts and shorts, this opens up an opportunity for individual expression as we all have to provide our own football socks, so gentlemen please adorn your legs with socks that fully illuminate your personality, some suggestions we may see include, The Wok in bright blue depicting ‘Humpty Dumpty’ we think that Mo the Polite may sport something in camouflage to mirror his current assassin look, Dave the Rave will no doubt get in touch with his feminine side and don some pale pastel colour with a lace frill around the top, and I’m sure Stewart the Voice will utilise his incredible skill and crochet some finely detailed pieces. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Today we were missing Jeff the Influential who is carrying a reoccurring knee injury, and Joe the mighty suffering with a strained groin as is Tony the Wall who turned up to support the team, we wish Jo and Jeff a speedy recovery as this makes us six quid short in the subs!

Stewart the voice led a comedy warm up with lots of skipping and silly walks. The Special One takes over with a very useful drill that exposes are weakness in keeping the ball.

To the field of play, as per usual 2 evenish teams were selected the Blissful Blues battle the Vivacious Vivids, a cracker of a game ensued creative flair the flavour of the day . A scrumptious stint by Dave the Rave, unchous control Mo the Polite, the delicious touch of Dave SBD, tasty as ever Rob the Fit! The full menu on dsplay from George the Safe, Mouth-watering skill from our own soixante neuf The Yeti, a buffet of brilliance Pete the Fast, a feast to behold John the Nipper, the perfect full English from the Wok, delicious defence Stewart the Voice, a smorgasbord of talent that’s Dave the Limpet, hitting the bar Barry the Booze!, a ‘cherry on the top’ effort from Paul the Surf, a bouquet garnri of tasteful football Clive the Nimble finally delivering the bread and butter Matt the Miss.
The final score 3-2 to the Vivids a veritable banquet of a match. :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

Updates from Westleigh Park, As Austerity hits the UK even the well heeled gentry at the westleigh have been badly hit, with the introduction of Mr Popes Quantitative easing program the cash flow suffers consequently our weekly supply of dunkers has been withdrawn, I believe our esteemed organiser will be producing a weekly biscuit supply rota. :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:

There is increasing concern by the management at WLP that there is evidence that some of our over 50’s squad are being radicalised by CS (Cheatleigh State). This radical group of aggressive, arrogant hustlers are well known for their underhand tactics and are consistently trying to swerve and twist our wonderful sport. WLP have issued a warning that 2 of our players are believed to be considering crossing the border and joining CS in the SO postcode. WLP ask for everyone’s support in these worrying times. :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown:

It is vitally important that Hawks over 50 WTF remain politically correct, you may remember that we recently invited Black, Asian and mixed race oldies to come and join our fraternity, unfortunately to date we have no takers, so to remain PC, we welcome and encourage any over 50’s females, we understand women are very busy in the home ( I have been reminded myself a million times!), we would be genuinely delighted if a number of women could find a spare hour to leave the kitchen ditch the apron and join us to play the beautiful game. :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

The ministers of administration and all things organisational have been working tirelessly contacting other walking football teams and arranging meetings and friendlies, as the weather improves and the arthritis subsides we are all looking forward to lots of matches soon. :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

As always lets finish with big thanks to my band of older (some considerably) brothers who consistently make me laugh, we have a great team of incredible characters who entertain with their complex idiosyncratic personalities, my most memorable chat this week was with Mo and the name of his dog, I can’t write about this here, but he had me in absolute fits. Thanks to Galesy for his constant effort, support and consistently making us laugh. :thumbup: :clap: :thumbup: :clap:
Posts: 88
Joined: Mon Apr 16, 2012 2:14 pm

Re: Walking football for the over-50s

Postby happyinspain » Fri Apr 03, 2015 2:24 pm

Before we get into the training and match report, a couple of things to mention.

Our much anticipated 1st fanzine will be available at Mondays home game against Bath, the fanzine is free but we would encourage a small donation (preferably cash!!!) in our collection bucket, the money collected will be going to a good cause, namely to assist the editorial team in funding ongoing publications. :clap:

Here’s an incredible fact, our HAWKS over 50’s squad has over 1,000 years of experience between them, obviously old age mixed with a dash of exertion inevitably comes aches and pains, recently a number of the players have been complaining of post match stiffening, at first I was rather worried but this soon turned to mild jealousy, I suppose the saying ‘everything comes to those who wait’ seems appropriate, so wait I will. :oops: :oops: :oops:

As the various threads the editorial team run become more popular, Honest Matt updated the team on his agony uncle blog, he has had a very mixed bag of questions and cries for help some of which will be printed shortly, however he did bring one rather disturbing email he received this week to light. The email was from Doris and Mohamed from Tipner, the question which was accompanied with some rather graphic and personal images seemed more suitable for a XXX rated adult magazine, Honest Matt is still glowing with embarrassment or is it the fake tan! :oops: :oops:

Contact; honestmatt@yahoo.co.uk

Thursday 11am arrives as do the fit and famous athletes that are HAWKS over 50 WFT.
Missing from action; The Yeti attending a two week flower pressing course in Tipperary. Joe the Mighty still having intensive work done on his groin, and Jeff the Influential with a heavily strapped knee. :thumbup:

Absent without leave; George the Safe apparently finishing his dissertation on charm and good humour, Dave SBD was spotted moonlighting in Cascades hair braiding at £2 a time, and finally Mo the Polite who forget to let the Gaffer know he had organised an Ann Summers party . :shock:

A very quick and simple warm up this week, which left the co-ordinately disabled (most of us) relieved.

With the ‘Special One’ distracted this week the bibs and goalie gloves a distant memory, we borrowed some rather fetching little orange numbers, so this week it was ‘the Tangerine Dreams’ versus the ‘defrocked all stars’.
The match was played at a blistering pace with all participants offering oodles of skill and panache. Dave the Limpet controlled and adept, the ever rising talent that is John the Nipper, the magical control of Dave the Rave, creativity itself Clive the Nimble, great vision from the inform Wok, constant driving penetration Paul the Surf, the multi talented Rob the Fit, an overload of skill as always Stewart the Voice, a wonderful array of footballing flair from Pete the Fast, looking the part the dapper Barry the Booze’, bringing up the rear Matt the Miss. As we played 4 lots of different 10 minute games I am completely confused as to who won what, safe to say the Tangerines dream no more as they were the overall victors. :clap: :thumbup:

A few items of news, with the rumours surrounding Lord Bradders increasing I thought I’d try and clarify the situation, Lee has definitely given up his paper round and has recently signed a lucrative contract to play professional pool, this will supplement his HAWKS pay packet. Shaun Gale has recently completed his first modelling assignment for Littlewoods catalogue; sources reveal he was chuffed with the extra 30 quid. Ritchie the Kit was spotted beavering away with the closed season looming descaling the washing machines, stock checking the Lenor, topping up on Vanish and polishing his iron. :thumbup: :thumbup:

This week we were given our new summer training kits, the shorts and shirts are brilliant, unfortunately the socks are an issue very pale blue ankle socks! I took the opportunity to discuss this with our very own style guru Adi ‘Ding Dong’ Aymes who was horrified, and so gentlemen make a stand, rebel, refuse to dress like a ladies hairdresser and adorn your legs with manly footie socks! :evil: :evil:

To sign off this week, we wish our HAWKS first team all the best this weekend, we hope our boys can bring home 3 points from relegated Staines Town on Saturday, and a further 3 points at home to Bath City on Monday, I’m not a statistician but reckon 6 points will bring us play off safety. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Posts: 88
Joined: Mon Apr 16, 2012 2:14 pm

Re: Walking football for the over-50s

Postby Probably Shirts » Fri Apr 03, 2015 5:36 pm

Yet another awesome account from Honest Matt of everyday life in our rarefied world. :clap: :clap:

Just to let you know that the work continues apace in the Secret Bunker, printing the Fanzine ahead of Monday's anticipated rush.

A word to all of our fans out there - we are issuing "The Many Shades" as a limited edition - only 250 copies, on a first come first served basis, so if you want a copy - and they are free, hence the bucket collection - get to Westleigh Park good and early!
And that includes you, Josh and Dale! :wave:
Probably Shirts
Posts: 1624
Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2009 10:42 pm
Location: The 'Ville bit of H&W

Re: Walking football for the over-50s

Postby Fatbloke@football » Fri Apr 03, 2015 7:07 pm

Great report as usual honest Matt
The video from the tournament was excellent I've just seen it and it had me in stitches
Poor show from the opponents constant running and fouls I thought it was non contact must be my age getting forget full
Good luck with the 6 points if we don't get them the special one will be in a foul mood :P
User avatar
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2014 6:51 pm


Return to Hawks Walking Football

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest