Before we get into the training and match report, a couple of things to mention.
Our much anticipated 1st fanzine will be available at Mondays home game against Bath, the fanzine is free but we would encourage a small donation (preferably cash!!!) in our collection bucket, the money collected will be going to a good cause, namely to assist the editorial team in funding ongoing publications.
Here’s an incredible fact, our HAWKS over 50’s squad has over 1,000 years of experience between them, obviously old age mixed with a dash of exertion inevitably comes aches and pains, recently a number of the players have been complaining of post match stiffening, at first I was rather worried but this soon turned to mild jealousy, I suppose the saying ‘everything comes to those who wait’ seems appropriate, so wait I will.
As the various threads the editorial team run become more popular, Honest Matt updated the team on his agony uncle blog, he has had a very mixed bag of questions and cries for help some of which will be printed shortly, however he did bring one rather disturbing email he received this week to light. The email was from Doris and Mohamed from Tipner, the question which was accompanied with some rather graphic and personal images seemed more suitable for a XXX rated adult magazine, Honest Matt is still glowing with embarrassment or is it the fake tan!
Contact;
honestmatt@yahoo.co.ukThursday 11am arrives as do the fit and famous athletes that are HAWKS over 50 WFT.
Missing from action; The Yeti attending a two week flower pressing course in Tipperary. Joe the Mighty still having intensive work done on his groin, and Jeff the Influential with a heavily strapped knee.
Absent without leave; George the Safe apparently finishing his dissertation on charm and good humour, Dave SBD was spotted moonlighting in Cascades hair braiding at £2 a time, and finally Mo the Polite who forget to let the Gaffer know he had organised an Ann Summers party .
A very quick and simple warm up this week, which left the co-ordinately disabled (most of us) relieved.
With the ‘Special One’ distracted this week the bibs and goalie gloves a distant memory, we borrowed some rather fetching little orange numbers, so this week it was ‘the Tangerine Dreams’ versus the ‘defrocked all stars’.
The match was played at a blistering pace with all participants offering oodles of skill and panache. Dave the Limpet controlled and adept, the ever rising talent that is John the Nipper, the magical control of Dave the Rave, creativity itself Clive the Nimble, great vision from the inform Wok, constant driving penetration Paul the Surf, the multi talented Rob the Fit, an overload of skill as always Stewart the Voice, a wonderful array of footballing flair from Pete the Fast, looking the part the dapper Barry the Booze’, bringing up the rear Matt the Miss. As we played 4 lots of different 10 minute games I am completely confused as to who won what, safe to say the Tangerines dream no more as they were the overall victors.
A few items of news, with the rumours surrounding Lord Bradders increasing I thought I’d try and clarify the situation, Lee has definitely given up his paper round and has recently signed a lucrative contract to play professional pool, this will supplement his HAWKS pay packet. Shaun Gale has recently completed his first modelling assignment for Littlewoods catalogue; sources reveal he was chuffed with the extra 30 quid. Ritchie the Kit was spotted beavering away with the closed season looming descaling the washing machines, stock checking the Lenor, topping up on Vanish and polishing his iron.
This week we were given our new summer training kits, the shorts and shirts are brilliant, unfortunately the socks are an issue very pale blue ankle socks! I took the opportunity to discuss this with our very own style guru Adi ‘Ding Dong’ Aymes who was horrified, and so gentlemen make a stand, rebel, refuse to dress like a ladies hairdresser and adorn your legs with manly footie socks!
To sign off this week, we wish our HAWKS first team all the best this weekend, we hope our boys can bring home 3 points from relegated Staines Town on Saturday, and a further 3 points at home to Bath City on Monday, I’m not a statistician but reckon 6 points will bring us play off safety.
COYH
by mark c » Mon Mar 09, 2015 10:06 pm 
If only we knew of a printing company who might sponsor us.... 
